My New Life

She's so beautiful, everyone. You have no idea.

Oh boy, this entry got long. Earlier I had fantasized about giving regular updates on this trip via blog, but that didn't work too well. Internet wasn't as easy (or free) at the resort, and we didn't really have access at the orphanage. So now it's coming out all at once. I'll understand if you take it in shifts.

The journey to the other side of the world is a long one, as some of you know. We felt very fortunate to fly from Minneapolis to Amsterdam to Mumbai (Bombay) to Cochin on schedule and with all of our luggage and most of our sanity intact. We caught up with The Spiderwick Chronicles, Horton Hears a Who, and The Counterfeiters on the plane, and I even got a Mountain Dew at the Mumbai airport (I saved the can as a souvenir; it's from Dubai and is 300 ml instead of 355). We got to beautiful Cherai Beach Resort in Kerala without a hitch (except the driver from the resort wasn't at the Cochin airport to pick us up, so we had to give them a call). It was a really nice place to hang for a couple of days (and a half a day longer than we planned) to rest and relax. We slept a LOT. I've never been this jet-lagged. The setting is lush green palm forest and serene backwaters populated by simple fishing communities with a laid-back attitude. Kind of reminded me of Hawaii or the Caribbean or the South Pacific. I would love to convey in detail the beautiful surroundings, delightful people, and the excellent food and service of that place.

There happened to be a trucker's strike on the day we were supposed to get picked up at the resort, so when we called the orphanage to arrange it, we were disappointed to hear that we would probably be picked up the next day. During a strike, it is not safe to travel the roads, as people throw rocks or try to do other things to travelers. We ended up getting picked up later that same day (the day we were originally expecting) but got to the orphanage late that night and did not get to meet Prathibha. The drive to the orphanage was, I would say, a fairly adventurous 3-hour careen through small Indian villages and up into the Kerala hills. No motion sickness, thanks to our own hearty constitutions and a dose of Bonine. We were still very jet-lagged and fell into bed when we arrived there.

Elizabeth's and Rajan's house is beautiful. I hadn't properly gathered from the previous pictures and video we had seen, and I didn't realize it until we awoke the next morning and had coffee in the open-air courtyard in the middle of their house. They were very gracious hosts, especially considering that our visit happened to coincide with 1) a state-wide orphanage seminar that SKB was hosting and at which Elizabeth was scheduled to deliver multiple lectures, and 2) a visit from Elizabeth and Rajan's son, his wife, and their 16-month-old son. If we needed Elizabeth for anything we had to work around her schedule, but her team of maids and cooks prepared great meals for us, 3 meals a day. Steamed rice noodles with butter and sugar for breakfast, where have you been all my life?

It was a big day for us - to meet and hang out with our daughter all day long. We walked the brick road from the house through the mango, coffee, vanilla, rubber, and other trees down to the orphanage and went to a small waiting area while they got Eva. When one of the women carried her in, she was crying and didn't want to come to us, which was consistent with the range of negative reactions that we were prepared for. What I was hardly prepared for, and hadn't dared let myself hope for, was that when the woman set Eva on the floor 10 seconds later and Vonda began revealing tantalizing morsels from a goodie bag, Eva immediately sought refuge in my lap and began interested inspection of the gifts. We played with her a little on the floor in that room and then continued after-breakfast play time with her upstairs in the play room with several other children. She was not afraid of us or shy with us at all. We are hoping this isn't an indiscrimancy behavior indicative of any attachment issues. We believe it is largely due to the preparation she has been given by her caregivers at the orphanage. Throughout our stay we learned from various individuals, including her favorite person, pre-school teacher/child care goddess Deepa, that they have been talking to her for many months about her mommy and daddy in conjunction with the pictures of us she has. Not only who we are and that we exist, but that she was going to leave the orphanage to come live with us. Deepa even told us how she would tell Eva that we would fly on an airplane and mommy would sit on one side and daddy would sit on the other side and Prathibha would sit in the middle! Contrary to the worst-case scenarios we had been warned may occur, she warmed to us quickly and enthusiastically played with us and showed us her world at the orphanage. During the times we would take her up to Elizabeth's house to play, she would point back down to the orphanage, telling us that she wanted to go back there. There were times that she became sad and cried a little; she knew she was leaving (thanks to the preparation by orphanage caregivers) and was processing it in her own way. After a lovely handing-over ceremony the next day and some office/paperwork stuff, it was time to leave.

Remember the adventurous 3-hour drive? Well, we had to do it again with our little girl after a big lunch. Actually, it was a little shorter drive from SKB to the Cochin airport than it was from the resort to SKB (I think we made it in 2 and a half hours), but the first part of the drive, out of the hills of Kerala, was the same winding and bumpy terrain. Eva contentedly looked out the window at the interesting sights passing by, and then tried to get as comfortable as she could on my lap (she didn't have her own seat) and get a little shut-eye as it was during her normal nap time. However, after being shaken and jostled for an hour, little Eva's lunch came up all over the front of me. The long-suffering driver, Ashraf, pulled over for a costume change (Eva and daddy) and clean-up as best we could. All-knowing and all-seeing mommy had Eva's change of clothes ready, towels to wipe off with, a plastic bag to put the pukey clothes and towels in, and another plastic bag to use for more sickness. Throughout the rest of the ride we kept a sickness bag handy, and it was needed a few other times. Eva seemed mildly annoyed at how urpy she was feeling, but other than that she didn't fuss, cry, or anything.

The car ride began our amazement at Eva's courage and resilience, and it continued at the Cochin airport and on the flight to Delhi. She was momentarily afraid of the big new strange place, clung to us, whimpered for a few seconds, and then was ok. As we got on the plane, we braced ourselves for her reaction to the new experience, including the seat belt. Other than one 20-minute fuss session related to her opinion about the seat belt (near the end of the flight, oddly enough), she took off, kept herself entertained for the 3-hour flight, and even landed with hardly pause or grimace. And that was after having been sick and with no nap. Hopefully this bodes well for the long flights at all hours that bring us home in a few days.

I am writing this from our bed and breakfast in New Delhi. We got here last night at 8:30-9:00 just in time for greeting and brief ropes from the earnest proprietor Ajay ("A.J.") before falling into bed. We all slept about 10 hours and awoke to a nice breakfast around 8:00. We spent all day today playing and cuddling and laughing together as a family. It was really great to have this day before the embassy red tape tomorrow.

We also saw a side of Eva that we hadn't yet experienced at SKB or on the trip to Delhi - hyper silliness! She hits a point (maybe sugary food related?) where she winds herself way up and laughs and makes faces and wants to play and cuddle in hyper mode. Like a kid. My kid. Even though it was sad to leave everyone she had known for a year at the orphanage, I think deep down she had been longing for the mommy and daddy that she had been told about, and had been needing the love and security that comes with, as all kids do. I think she is already beginning to suck up the love like a sponge, and she is also finding the security - clinging to us for comfort and protection in new or scary circumstances.

I can't express how in love with her I am. She is smart and beautiful and capable. She learns by example and emulation - she always wants to be shown how to do something, and then do it herself. She has very definite ideas about what she wants to play with during play time, but at the same time she is happy and content with her surroundings. Today she stood between my legs and looked at the screen for a half hour as I sat at the computer and typed part of this entry. When that got old, she told me to get her the plastic containers of coffee creamer and sugar packets from a shelf in the kitchen (where the computer is) and proceeded to count them and sort them and tell me all about what they were and her system for keeping track of them (I think).

Tomorrow and Tuesday we have the embassy/visa stuff to take care of, which is a fair bit of running around. We do have a driver all day who works with a lot of adopting families and knows what to do. I'll let you know how that went later, in a shorter entry.